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We have all had a friend who turned out to “not” be a friend due to their own personal gain.  Right?  I know I have.  One friendship comes to mind when I think about self-serving friends.  It’s still rather fresh to me so I know it well and remember it even better.  I am always very open to making new friends.  I find new friendships to be interesting like all new relationships.  The friends that I have had for years, will always be my friends till the end.  I know that and I am comforted in that.  But we all get wrapped up in the “newness” of the start of a friendship.  I met this new friend, Annie at a fitness club. Annie and I both met out on the tennis court one Thursday evening, at the start of our ladies tennis night.  Tennis was a great avenue to meet new people who enjoyed the sport and it served as an outlet in many ways.  Getting out and playing tennis was better than any antidepressant drug; I was convinced.  When I started playing tennis I was introduced to many different leagues of play.  If you know anything about tennis, then you know that players are ranked through the United States Tennis Association, USTA; just like the pros.  I started out with a 3.0 ranking having had some background playing as a kid.  Beginners start out with a ranking of 2.0-2.5.  Once you start to move up in ranking; the claws come out in the women who, you started out thinking… were sweet!  I, as a woman, can honestly say that women are insane when it comes to competitive sports!  This is my opinion and I have come upon this opinion through witnessing friendly matches turn into war, with points becoming the antectdote to all attacks.  I have seen the transition from smiles and laughter to cursing and evil looks.  But the competitive nature of a women will be more touched on in my follow up blog.  I just want to give you a little set up to how an opportunistic friend can turn into a foe overnight.       I met Annie during Ladies Tennis night, as I was saying.  She was putting together a team to start in the spring and she had seen me play, therefore asked me to join her team.  I knew from the moment I met her, that she was very self absorbed.  But I give everyone benifit of the “doubt” when I first meet them because really, I cannot judge them on my first impression.  Annie had played with me that night and we won our match pretty easily.  From that moment on, she was getting my phone number, asking me to join her team, asking me to help her get “good” players, and attaching herself to me, calling me her new “best” friend.  Yeah, yeah, yeah…..how high school, right?  I am 38 years old, so I do know when to distinguish the differences between a realy best friend, and someone whom I just met calling me her best friend.  It was an attention getter, and you know what?  It got my attention.  Then next day Annie called me at home to ask me about who I would pick for the remaining spots on our roster.  I thought she was great, funny and very outgoing.  I could tell that she was quirky, but I would not judge because I am quirky, myself.  She told me about her life story on that first phone conversation.  We laughed a lot finding common ground with our quirkiness.  We did become good friends fast. Two years later, after playing tennis as her partner and winning, she decided to move on to better players.  Within these two years, I had invested a lot of time and emotion as a friend to her.  I listened to all of her problems until I could recite them all frontwards and backwards. She had moodswings and she always had self absorbed moments….many…Annie decided it was time she needed to move up and she wanted to start over with a new  partner.The opportunistic way she took was to jockey herself in with a group of tennis players that were not a favorable group.  This group of women were the meanest when it came to the game and they all thought they were on “tour”.  I would love to throw out one liners, like; “we’re not getting paid for this ? Right?As the fall season came to an end, I watched my friend, my tennis partner, change with the blink of an eye.  She found a group of women who would do anything to win and that was where she lost me as a friend.  This group of women were vicious, and hateful, not to mention, nobody wanted to really associate with them.  Annie felt the need to be with this group becuase they sevrved her.  She dumped me like a hot potato and moved on so that she could move up on the tennis ladder.  Two years of becoming close friends with her came to a hault over her need become a better tennis player.  What a shame it is…. but it’s true.  I have learned a valuable lesson through this all, which is, never to take your friends for granted, and NEVER dump a true friend just to get ahead at tennis.  It is just no worth it. Now my ex friend is without me as her friend, and without the other good friends that played tennis with us.  We will still be on the courts playing good tennis while cutting up and joking.  Does she not realize how little she will get from the payoff, even though she is playing with higher ranked players.  It’s certainly an eye opener about what is truly important in life.  We are all different and that is okay. 

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